TBD 88: Old Habits Ride Hard

🏇 Taking control of horses and habits

There is a Buddhist story of a man riding atop an horse that’s out of his control.

As the horse starts to gallop away, the man’s friend shouts out, “Wait! Where are you going?” 

The rider yells back, “I don’t know…. Ask the horse!”

How often do you find yourself on the wild horse of old habits?

In the story, the horse represents our ingrained patterns. Habits are so automatic that it often feel like they are controlling us instead of the other way around. We’re in ruts that seem to drive us. 

We desire change, improvement, new routines but we’re all astride our personal horses trained in our ingrained habits headed to the same behaviors.

And so we know we want to start a new habit, yet finding ourselves galloping directly to the old pattern. Sometimes, we can temporarily have the strength to strong arm the horse into our doing - yanking and shoving, dragging the horse a new way- but that kind of will power is limited and once again, we’re back to our old circumstances.

What can we do?

Coaching help us get to the bottom what’s driving us in unproductive ways. We can take time to look at “why” or “for the sake of what” we are making choices - even when they feel automatic or not a choice at all. We can also slow down our action to deconstruct what’s actually happening in a moment. That in itself can be a scary thing - it may feel as if when you’re not taking action, you’re falling behind!! No time to examine!!

Questioning your habits is a courageous move. We move from autopilot to choice. We have to face uncomfortable emotions that were being blurred by the old habit. 

We have to clean things up.

But the upside is that we can be free. 
Freedom gives us the space to choose, the space to make new paths. 

What automatic behaviors are you ready to take a look at?

• The auto-yes to requests from your co-workers?

• The auto-rejection of compliments or thanks?

• The auto-excuses from your mind that prevent taking care of yourself?

• The auto-pour of wine after work?

• The auto-snooze button everyday?

1. Pick one habit and see if you can catch yourself in the act of doing the behavior (don’t try to change it… just try to catch yourself in the moment of the action).

2. In that moment of action, can you slow down? Can you check in with yourself and see what’s REALLY going on? What do you really want? Is your action helping you get that? Is there another choice instead?

This work is rewarding, it will help you be free of the automatic reactions and open to a life where you can be responsive. Let me know how I can help.

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Hi, it’s me! Happy New Year!

Practicing everything I’ve talked about in my newsletters happens in my RETHINK group each month. Meet with us m

onthly, bring your biggest challenges and get some coaching and peer advice to untangle and move forward. Own your strengths and practice sharing your stories. Learn more and register here. --->  Join us! 

Or, if you're curious about coaching, I'd be happy to talk with you. It's a commitment but you'll get results and you'll move forward with more ease and confidence.

Your coach,
CK