TBD 67: January 1 is not a starting pistol.
Life is not a race. Really.
January 1 is not a starting pistol. You don’t need to get it all done in the first four weeks of the year.
I’ll go so far as to say you’ll never get it done. Ever.
That long to-do list? It will magically refill itself.
As a coach, again and again I see my clients set impossibly high expectations with no room for error, blaming themselves for not succeeding or falling off the relentlessly stringent new “program” they’ve set up. Yeesh.
It’s a misconception that there’s a finish line. The idea that we’ll be “done” and all will be well (at last).
I offer another point of view. Life is a process. You’ll never get it all done. In fact, there will be some things you_ should never get finished_ as your values and interests change.
You can start living happily ever after right now. You don’t have to wait.
It’s okay to quit.
It’s okay to change your mind.
It’s okay to realize what you thought you really, really wanted turned out to be an expectation of someone else and you aren’t sure what you really want.
It’s okay to keep plugging away if you aren’t the best or the fastest but your action brings you joy and learning.
For this year, think of a few things that bring you joy that you’d like to build upon. Think of what’s most important to you - what do you value? Think of the best of last year and double those things in 2023. Put them in the calendar. Make the reservation. Buy the tickets.
At work, think of the parts of your job you enjoy. See the areas you can make a difference. Look any feedback you’ve gotten and decide what of that feedback feels most valuable and helpful to your growth. That's a great start.
Give yourself a reminder of what’s most important to you:
I’m okay. I’m growing and need to focus on what’s important to me now.
I’m taking my time, but I’m committed to doing it bit by bit.
I appreciate all the amazing people in my life.
I respect what I can do in a day. I can start again and continue tomorrow.
Things are working out for me. They always do.
I have a big idea but it might take awhile to come to fruition. I am taking action regularly.
P.S. A few things I've found useful:
Nedra Glover Tawweb: It's okay to get your hopes up: Why we need to stop avoiding disappointment.
Why we don't finish things: Great article by Elise Loehnen about the creative mind and why we don't finish things (and how we can).
Pulling the Thread: Elise's podcast is also wonderful listening.