TBD 34: Risky Business
Why not try?
My father-in-law is in his mid-80s. He works 6 days a week, walks through downtown San Francisco daily.
As he says, "If you're unwilling to take a risk once in a while, just dig a hole that's 6 feet deep and lay down in it and wait. Life is about risk. No two ways about it."
Older and wiser usually means older and less willing to try things that might be painful. After all, you worked hard for this experience! You shouldn't have to suffer the sufferings of days gone by! Someone else can be brave!
Besides that, we don't want to be foolish, appear to have failed, be a loser or generally feel dumb.
Whenever I take risks, it's not my own failure I'm worried about. Because (of course) I've messed up tons of time. Tons.
But having my failure witnessed by people around me is the scariest. I guess it's the shame of being seen and judged after I took a chance and tried.
Managing the New
So we've got to manage that (or go dig our 6-foot hole in the ground, I guess?) so here are things that help me keep stretching and exploring.
1. Go small and go home. Go big or go home? No way! Take a very small step forward (and then immediately go home and rest at once!). Nothing needs to be completed in one fell swoop.
2. Practice in the lowest stakes. Often my clients and I work through new communication strategies. We NEVER start by unleashing new skills with the toxic exec on their team. Start in low-stakes scenarios. Practice saying "no" to the lady taking your order at Chipotle. Get some reps under your belt!
3. Speaking of practice.... you can get better at anything with practice. Plan on that. You can improve. You can learn. Keeping a growth mindset by focusing on the process and not the outcome is key. (You will be awesome, but for now let's focus on getting the practice in.)
4. Let people know you're new. I used to wait tables at a TGIFriday's with a guy who told each table that it was his first day waiting tables. Everyday. For years. Got great tips for performing badly. Not recommending this strategy, but I think it's okay to let someone know you're a beginner and you're open to feedback to help you improve.
5. Have a sense of humor about it. My friend used to say, "when I succeed, it's spectacular. And when I fail...well, it's spectacular". Not everything goes according to plan. Be kind to yourself, learn what you can and regroup.
Taking a big risk doesn't always mean doing it all at once. Try small experiments. Be patient with yourself.
Have you ever tried to set smaller, focused goals instead of one big leapin' goal?
"You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.” ― William Faulkner
A few book recommendations:
Carol Dweck leads in the space of Growth Mindset. →
Check out her book Mindset