TBD 027: 😬 The Murky Middle

The reality of life transitions.

So many of my clients are interviewing, considering looking for a new job, or trying to navigate the last of 2021 to make an escape plan for a better 2022. After the past few years, it makes sense that we have more clarity around what we want. Or perhaps we’ve been pushing off making changes since current events kept us pretty busy. Or maybe a “return to normal” is the last thing you want. 

But, despite what your buddy's LinkedIn profile looks like - you know, the list of tidy jobs with bigger titles? Life is usually much messier behind the scenes.

That can be hard to remember when we see people effortlessly accomplishing things on social media and in our professional circles. It’s hard to remember that we are only seeing a moment of a process instead of the actual full transition. 

When we’re at major crossroads, the process can be unclear. We want to get another job, but we can’t imagine staying in our industry. We want to move to a new place, but we can’t imagine where. We want to be promoted on our timeline, but it isn’t (and hasn’t) been happening that way. We want to become parents, but we've never been a parent before. 

When I look back on transitions in my life - from career changes, relationship endings, relocations, and birth and deaths, the full cycle of transition seems to take about two years.

That is to say, two years from when I first get the whisperings that something should change until I feel firmly planted and settled in my next step.

Two Year Transitions

📆 Frustration
Feeling like something should change

📆 Uncertainty
Okay, it’s time, but not sure of specifics

📆 Excitement
I’m feeling confident of what a next step might look like

📆 Fear
Taking committed action and getting out of my comfort zone

📆 Exciting! Achievements!
Now we start getting re-settled and adjusted

📆 Oh no!
Inevitable bumps, possible regrets

📆 Peace
Seems like the new normal

Does two years sound like a long time?

Transitions aren't totally predictable, but I found that we generally underestimate the timing required to move from one thing to another. If you’re facing a transition try:

• Finding support - coaching, therapy, mentors who have been there are all good supports.

• Giving yourself time - you probably aren't "doing it wrong" but just in the murky process of change.

• Be patient with yourself - there's a lot to navigate.

• Learn to stay in the discomfort - don’t rush a solution if you don’t have to

Dive Deeper

• Transitions: Making sense of LIfe's Changes is a great book by an expert in the subject. 

• I wrote about my own experience navigating professional transitions here.