🏃 Step one is...what is step one?
When you don't know to how start....
In my last newsletter, I shared my personal method of tracking and making progress on what matters to me. Instead of goals, I’ve been setting a general direction and taking consistent action towards what I want to create. This has kept me flexible about the specifics, while achieving the bigger picture.
But what if you know what you want, but you don’t know how to start?
You may not even know the very first steps?
We can actually make a commitment without necessarily having the skills or past experience. If you’re a parent, you’ve done this. You may have had a child without knowing much about children, parenting or raising kids.
And you can read all the books about infancy, but then your child is suddenly a toddler, then grade school - so the needs and challenges continue to change again and again. Somehow we manage and find all kinds of support as challenges arise.
The same process can be applied to any situation we want to create.
Can I tell you a story?
When I was much younger, I wanted to make a professional career change. I was working in account management in an agency, but I could see my skills and interests were different from the best account managers I worked with.
I had the same questions many of my clients do:
Is my skillset a job?
If it is a job, what’s the title or who is working in this space?
What jobs are available, if any?
If I can figure all that out, how might I get a job doing this?
I didn’t know which titles, which people or what skills might be most useful. I was blind to the possibilities that might be a fit for me. It’s easy to feel very resigned in those situations.
During a work happy hour, I confided in a friend that I wanted a new role but didn’t know where to start. She suggested that I make a list of the things I do well and enjoyed doing at work.
That was easy.
Then she suggested that I email this list to friends - letting them know I was looking for a new role that included these elements. Did they know of any roles that might use these skills? Or did they know anyone they could connect me with that they thought might be of help?
This was much more vulnerable and difficult - putting myself out there and asking for help.
However, it was a very successful tactic.
I received helpful responses (and some dead ends) that helped me define my new career - Digital Producer. I made new connections which eventually landed me in a new job that was not only a great fit but literally changed the trajectory of my life.
Wait. Before I end the story in such a tidy way...
... there’s more to it. After I understood the title, I had a series of informational interviews with companies that were not hiring but basically were willing to talk to me because of a friend of a friend (of a friend). I was able to explore a few styles, company culture, and better understand the open role.
After that, I narrowed it down to a few companies that I really wanted to work for, then stayed in touch with one for 5 months until a position opened and I got the job.
Taking action on my own behalf helped make my current job and workplace more manageable. Staying curious and connected helped me stay hopeful instead of discouraged. In fact, once settled in my new role, I got my friend a job there, too.
I’ve used the process many times since then. Basically:
👟 General desire: I know what I want!
👟 Ask for directions: How might I get there?
👟 Ask for connections: Who knows who might help?
👟 See new path: On my way!
What can you do to get started?
Don’t suffer alone. Getting the support of my friend gave me external accountability. Just telling someone you’re feeling stuck can help.
Make a plan, and keep adjusting your plan. Per my last newsletter, my master plan was general. To “find a job better aligned with my strengths and values” but I didn’t know where I would ultimately end up.
Be ready for some dead ends. My story is tidy (for the sake of keeping word count low). Don’t be discouraged if people don’t respond to your email or ignore your request. Don’t be discouraged if conversations aren't a direct answer or solution. Keep learning and keep adjusting your approach.
Give back. When someone helps you, you can always find a way to share something you know, a connection you have or something as simple as a podcast recommendation.
Find information and expert help. We're awash with helpful Information via Google, published articles, and most importantly, other people. Coaches are useful, professional organizations are helpful, even loose connections (friends of friends) can be a big boost.
Leading with Heart Workshop - are you still waiting?
Ugh. We’ve all been there. Feeling shut down in a meeting. Interrupted, cut off, talked over, unrecognized and feeling frustrated or diminished after work. You know, the scenarios that are easy to replay and ruminate over at 2AM.
You’ve heard about fight or flight responses - our stress response to external threats. While intellectually that all makes sense, it may seem fairly dramatic to think “fight or flight” applies to a life spent in the safety of our homes on Zoom calls with coffee and snacks nearby.
But your body doesn’t know that. Truly. A threat is a threat.
Our responses can be fairly unsophisticated, drain our energy and create unproductive results.
In Leading with Heart, we dive into how we can manage the stress and uncertainty of work and leadership with confidence and reassurance. How we can create a better relationship to our reactions and so we have more ways to respond thoughtfully without hijacking our nervous system and ruminating the night away.
We start on October 8 and I’d love to have you join the circle if you’re inclined.