📅 The Last 90 Days of 2021
For me, September is the new January. That back-to-school spirit really helps me refocus and get clear about what I’m trying to finish before I raise a toast to 2021.
But every goal won't make the cut to be finished this year.
In fact, the truth is that some things are happening... never. Time to take goals off the list completely.
No matter how hard I tried to wrangle things back on track, 2021 always seemed to have the upper hand. Honestly, my goal-oriented style wasn’t a great match for the detours and plot twists of 2021. I had to learn to lean into improvisation.
That doesn't mean leaving everything to chance entirely, but for me, it meant moving in the direction of what I wanted, tracking my progress along the way, and re-routing frequently. This helped me work with what was showing up at any time, stay committed but flexible, and take care of what was most important.
I wanted to share my process from 2021.
In the past, I set measurable goals and logical steps.
This year, I aimed for the things I most wanted to experience - but I was flexible about the specifics and took steps forward as I could. Here's my approach:
1 / List the EXPERIENCE I want to have at the end of three months . This is not a goal exactly but when I look back on the last 90 days, what experience I want to say I’ve created for myself?
Experience: Seeing my kids thrive at school, and being able to support them
Experience: Waking up feeling my best, knowing I’m taking care of my health
Experience: Create a coaching practice that serves my clients and my life which is most satisfying
2 / Create a PROMISE that supports what i want to have
Promise: Clear time each day (4:00 - 4:30) to practice reading, catch up on homework before TV and be available for conversations when they are most open to chatting
Promise: Catch up on doctor's appointments that are overdue to establish a health baseline.
Promise: Write a statement that includes: my time capacity, my financial commitments, and how I can use my time professionally to meet financial requirements.
3 / Create the ACTION steps toward delivering on the promise
Action: Talk to kids, put time on calendar, rework any standing conflicts.
Action: Connect to healthcare website, reach out to my dr. for support and make appointments
Action: Review past calendar and financial spreadsheet - how'd I do in the past? what do I need to adjust? how am I tracking?
4 / CHECK IN WEEKLY. For me, this is always Sundays at 10:00 AM. I look at my list and see what actions I'm taking toward promises I've made. Then, I can:
Give myself credit for things I did in each category...note the ways I might have taken advantage of opportunities that popped up during the week.
Establish next steps to continue progress
Note breakdowns that prevented me from taking steps (what happened?)
Commit to different actions to navigate the breakdowns
5 / BREAKDOWNS. Breakdowns are simply when things didn't go as planned. Acknowledge and reroute.
Breakdown: Husband and I weren't on the same page about homework so it was inconsistent between us. Need to chat with him and re-establish routine
Breakdown: Got auto-message my doctor is out of the office for three weeks, need to set a reminder to check in next month, in meantime, list specifics I can schedule without her (eye dr)
Mixed Success: Pulled together information I had committed to compiling, but found that looking back is helpful but not driving new forward vision
5 / REWORK the plan Sometimes breakdowns reveal that we need to make a new action step or a different promise. We’ve learned through our action and we need to adjust accordingly
Adjust: Sports practice conflicts with homework plan, kids wiped out after school. Move homework to evening and shift to 2 longer sessions rather than everyday
Adjust: Medical offices backlogged right now, make new goal of exercising 4x a week while I wait for dr. appointments
Adjust: Map what pieces I want to include in life in 2022. Capacity, time-off, workshops, client load, financial.
Methodical navigation week over week has been satisfying in helping me feel I’m consistently making progress, redirecting efforts as needed to keep momentum, and/or taking things off the list entirely if they don’t serve an end goal or experience I want to have ("How about never? Does never work for you?").
Will you try this? Can you let me know how it goes?
Next newsletters, I’ll talk more about:
1 / Why “What I want to experience” over goals can work magic personally and professionally
2 / How do we make commitments when we have no idea how to accomplish them. This can be the real stopping point for people -- we’re great at “to-do” lists, but what if we aren’t sure what the tactical steps may be? Or if we’re capable of doing those steps?
Coming up! Join our Leadership Circle:
Leading with Heart! Spaces open! Frank Marquardt and I are bringing you our first LEADERSHIP CIRCLE. Is it on Zoom? Yes! Is it going to be a place to find direction for an uncertain future? Yes! Resilience, companionship, reflection and more. Start Fridays off right this October. → [Register here.]
Books!
Joyous Resilience is a book written by my dear friend, Anjuli Sherin. It seems like it just becomes more and more relevant over time. → Check it out here.
"Joyous Resilience: An intersectional guide to building resilience and reclaiming joy
With so much information available on how to build resilience--from meditation, exercise, and time in nature, to the latest neuroscience-backed studies--have you ever wondered what's holding you back? If you commit to self-care but find yourself exhausted, unhappy, or anxious, do you wonder what's missing?
The fact is, we are all navigating an exhausting, disconnecting, do-more-buy-more culture that disproportionately harms those with marginalized identities and leads us to believe that our thriving depends solely on individual effort."